Alright, this review is of "Final Destination 2," a movie about stupid people who do stupid things. Unfortunately, I was not able to find ANY pictures from this movie on the internet, so you'll have to make do with these pictures of thumbtacks.

These thumbtacks are fucking huge!

First of all, I'd like to set something straight about this movie. This is all bullshit. I have no list of people to kill, and if I'm supposed to kill you and don't, I don't really give a shit. I won't chase after you and kill you. And anyway, if you get a premonition, then you are meant to get a premonition, and you are not supposed to die, and therefore, THIS MOVIE IS SHIT!

OK, the first scene of this really REALLY pissed me off. There's this whole long highway scene where tons of people die in totally awesome ways, and I was geared up for a huge bloodfest where people die for completely random reasons. You know, like a Bruckheimer/Bay movie. Anyway, the whole thing turns out to be a dream. I was like "WHAT THE FUCK?!" and this guy shhhhed me so I ate his head. I mean, seriously, that whole dream thing was played out in The Little Mermaid.

This must be the greatest cereal ever.

Anyway, the movie just gets worse from there. There's this weird thing where everyone decides that they were supposed to die, and that death is trying to kill them. THAT IS BULLSHIT! If you get a prophecy good for you, you're not gonna die. What the hell is all this crap? I mean, I know. I saw the Big Man laying out the gameplan. I was there, Charlie.

A whole bunch of thumbtacks. Look at 'em. Don't you just want to throw them at people?

Then the people who should've died started dying again, in the fakest ways ever, and also because they might've been the stupidest people ever. Seriously, who has a dentist's office next to a contruction site. And furthermore, the amount of blood these people lose is ludicrous. These fucks must have had at least 17 pints in their bodies. I've exploded and seen them lose less blood than in this movie. You know why? Because, I'm fucking Satan, that's why.

A thought just occurred to me. If the people were suppposed to die, then why are they running away from death. Accept your fate, losers! What whiners!

Mankind has insulted the honor of thumbtacks. Now he feels their wrath.

Anyway, this movie was the crappiest thing I've ever seen, and I've seen some crappy things. This movie was even crappier than the pile of shit Hitler was spewing out of of his mouth the first time he met up with Genghis Khan in hell. But I digress. I give this movie one skull, only because I enjoyed the first scene. Four skulls if it had lived up to what that scene was.