Random Junior

Man, you can't just say that breakfast sucks. I mean, I know some people might not like it, but there are reasons, man. It's a lot deeper than just bad cereal.

You see, thirteen years ago, Rabbi Kaminetsky was on this like, safari thing in Deep Africa. And he stumbled on the great shaman of the Kluckee tribe. And the shaman was all like "Hey, man! Why'd you stumble on me?" And Rabbi Kaminetsky just stared at him, man. He just stared into the shaman's deep shaman eyes. So this freaked the shaman out. He was like "Woah, man. You're like cursed or something. But I know how to cure the curse. You have to find the ancient Amulet of Achdut." So Rabbi Kaminetsky just kept staring, and the shaman told him where to go.

Now Rabbi Kaminetzky wasn't really cursed, man. But he was led into the quest for the Amulet of Achdut by the others in his group, and he didn't really have a choice. So they went to the valley where the amulet was supposedly buried and started searching through the caves. Pretty soon, all of Rabbi K.'s group perished, man, and he was the only one left. So he was alone, and started saying shma. The shaman, having awesome hearing, believed him to be cured, and, using his powers, transported Rabbi Kaminetsky back to the hut. Rabbi Kaminetsky thanked the shaman, and the shaman was all like "Don't thank me. Instead, you must use my tribe's brand of cereal and bagels until the end of time." And that's why we use that stuff for breakfast. Also, since Rabbi Kaminetsky never found the Amulet of Achdut, that's why he's obsessed with achdut. Woah