The Do-Rag: From Caveman To Method Man

The Do-Rag. It is about as ubiquitous in our culture as corporate scandals. But where, pray tell, do these do-rags come from? How did we come across them? How does one obtain one? What do they smell like? The answers may shock you.

Contrary to popular belief, the Do-Rag is not a recent creation. The Do-Rag was around in the pre-historic era, as is evindenced by this drawing of a Caveman. Pre-historic man used to use the Do-Rag to keep their wild locks of hair out of their eyes while hunting their deadly prey, which included cheetahs, lions, tigers, and of course, telemarketers. Obviously, the Do-Rag was invented before the Hair-Cut, but, as evidenced in the picture, after Tie-Dye. The Do-Rag was popular for a long while, but after Og Pulm invented scissors, they disappeared, and did not show up again for many years.

The next place the Do-Rag showed up was Ancient Egypt. Egyptians were usually described as wearing elaborate headresses. Through recent research in the tombs of Pharoahs, these headresses were revealed to be none other than Do-Rags. Strangely enough, the only members of Egyptian society who were not permitted to wear Do-Rags were the telemarketers.

After the days of Ancient Egypt, the Do-Rag disappeared yet again. It did not resurface until the 1600's, in England. William Shakespeare was actually a leading proponent of the style, as can be seen in this undated portrait of him. He even spoke about the Do-Rag in some of his works. The following passage is taken directly from Hamlet:

Alas, the value of one who finds that
his Rag hast fallen upon thy dirt floor
is less than the mouse, the scoundrel, the rat,
the telemarketer; he's poor'r than poor.

The fad continued throghout that time, and manifested itself in many odd ways, included the "white-wig Do-Rag" favored by George Washington and John Adams. Only during the early Twentieth century did the popularity of the Do-Rag wane, when it was overtaken by the horribly ugly and stupid-looking hats which many people wore. However, the Do-Rag has recently made a comeback, and is now more popular than ever, as it will be for the rest of time.